Vive la resistance!

I woke up in my hotel room in Dusseldorf the morning after the meet absolutely livid.


Because even though I jumped much better than I had been…


And had taken full control over my season moving forward…


I was disappointed, full of self pity, and exhausted.


I woke up in that hotel room wondering when things would get easier for me.


Wondering when I could be 100 percent confident in my training and performances again.


Wondering when I can be 100 percent sure that every single person around me actually cares about me enough to not hurt me intentionally.


Wondering when I can finally be done with this divorce.


Wondering when I can stop worrying about money.


Wondering


Wondering


Wondering


Wishing


Wondering


Hoping…


And then I got a WhatsApp message from Doc Dossman (inventor of the Doc N' Roll)…


A link to a YouTube video.


And usually when I see a link in the message preview I take my precious time getting to it. I figure, no urgent message comes in the form of a link to YouTube. Right?


But I clicked on it today. And it’s just Doc, talking to the camera in his hoody and characteristically conversational tone. 


And the video’s playing…


When he says something that stops me dead in my tracks.


“Why are we afraid of resistance, when resistance is how we grow?”


It’s true in fitness.


It’s true in life.


It’s true in the gym.


It’s true for me.


Increasing the weight you lift in the gym challenges the muscles you’re working on in such a way that it even tears them, forcing blood and oxygen to rush to the area, causing the body to react and go into rebuilding mode. 


And it rebuilds that muscle…


Even stronger than it was before.


An oversimplified explanation of course but…


“Resistance is how we grow...”


And those words were enough to put the wind back in my sails.


All of this resistance…


All of the people in and around my life right now knowing they aren't doing right by me…


All of this struggle…


Is exactly why and how I’m growing into the human being I’m becoming.


So vive la resistance.


I’m strong enough to handle it.


And if it turns out I'm not…


It’s only a matter of time until I will be.

nick steadman